late happy birthday to ...me?

 Hello.. hiiii ! welcome !

*late* Happy birthday to me ! 

 

I shouldve make that post a few days ago by now, since its already been 15 days from my birthday but yeah.. one year closer to death ^_^ yayyyy........    

I spent my actual birthday, july 3rd, on a last day of the trip in bali :D Im really grateful I had an oppportunity to spend it on such vacation like that but nevertheless it was a tough day for me and id rather to spend it alone or with my beloved.. The day started by waking up early, getting my makeup done and everything becuse we had to move hotels on that day...... just to cry durning breakfast becouse I already was at my breaking point. My parents were mad as fuck too becouse i made them look bad in front of other guests. Great. I hate pepole pointing out its my birthday, especially around strangers and when I thought im gonna tough it out - the staff came to sing a birthday song and give me a cake and they even took a picture when I had tears in mye eyes and everything . . . I hate being preceived so much bro

I eventually ended up redoing my makeup and trying not to think about what day it is. Later in the day my mum told me the other guy from our trip also had his birthday today so yay first time meeting someone with same date xD ehhh... I honestly dont know how I feel about being older now, its not like something changed but i feel like it shouldve? Just another year developing my frontal lobe xd I dont think my family will organise my birthday this year too so it just feels weird. I also didnt organise my brithday for friends in years now probably, I kinda wish i had pepole to invite to my birthday. I mean I do, but its complicated.. I dont know how its gonna be next year and im already anxious :'3

A lot of pepole send me wholseome wishes (despite that i forgot half of my friends birthdays) but its probably only becouse i posted it on my story but i still appreciate it c':  My boyfriend actually has his birthday 2 days after me so we both celebrated it being separate and on vacay lol We are going on a birthday date soon so yay ! It makes me happy. He's spoiling me so much <3

I dont know how I feel abot my age being this serious now and posting this here since its kind of vunerable but theres like 2 pepole seeing any of these posts at best, so it doesnt matter probably

 

 
My unrealistic dream is to be an anime character everyone relates to, wishes they were real, getting made shrines of and even but a cake to celebrate their birthday . . . omg like Marin adoring Shizuku-tan lol 

 

OK! Thats it for today. I dont think I want to talk about it anymore.

Have a nice day and happy birthday to everyone who shares my birthday ^_^

 

 

⋆⁺₊⋆ monthly playlist - july ⋆⁺₊⋆

 

hi ..helllo ! welcome back ! (＾• ω •＾)

Im back from my vacation hiatus, but ill talk on that later ^_^ It was a fun trip, ive documented a lot of it so ill probably share it here soon, i was thinking of uploading them to flickr becouse theres a lot so.. ill think about it :p

For now.. enjoy my july playlist that i forgot to make until a week ago lol 

 

 

ps. Maybe Ill make a shopping haul from my vacayyy hmmm... il think about it 

 

 

 

Things to do to get yo know yourself better . . .

 hii.. welcome ! ⊂(´• ω •`⊂)

This is a tiktok Ive written down my diary, becouse i wanted to remember to do this in my free time but I thought its a nice way for pepole to get to know themselves better and I wanted to share it here (^_^) I unfortunetly dont remember the account who posted this before but ill edit it in if i ever stumble upon it again !

   

 
 

  

1. Do a milion online tests, not typology but for example . . .

•  my political orientation
• whats my political party
• whats my type of feminism
• for fun you can do what type of character from ur favorite show are you
• etc

 

 2. Fuck around and find out 

• what you like, what you like to do
• how are you in day to day life
• try veganism, vegetarianism, find out what fits you
• try being a sports person, a writer, extravert, introvert..
• cold showers, warm showers, travel, stay home, be bored, busy, etc
• date everyone
• smoke, or dont, drink, or dont
• spend money or dont
• take care of yourself or dont 
• try different styles, experiment !!!

 

3. Read a lot of books, watch movies, analise your 'literally me' characters and DONT confuse them with 'who I wanna be' characters;

• have idols, pepole you look up to
• have pepole that you like or enjoy being around, whats it that you like about them?
• be a little more like pepole or chracters you look up to everyday

 

4. Do ikigai (finding life passion)

 

 

 

 

5. Keep a diary or a book of reflection, have somewhere to write your thoughts

• let other pepole feedback you
• be mature
• openly take critique
• dont take everything personally 
• ask yourself uncomfy questions and SEEK DISCOMFORT !

 

6. Travel, move around a lot

• move your body!!!
• move friend circles
• have multiple friend circles
• dont have friends
• try befriending everyone kinda
• try different sports even if you dont like them at first

 

7. Write down yur dream self !

• the way you want to interact with pepole 
• way you wanna be
• the confidence you want to have
• and develop the steps to get there !

 

8. Write down the list that your dream partner should have

•  must haves
• nice to haves
• dont likes
• red flags

 

9. Regulary engage in challenges that test your limits and abilities

• how many drawings can i make a day?
• wek of reading or how many books can i read in a week
• watch 100 movies in a year
• workout daily for two weeks
• do 60 days of hard studying
• try to learn as much language as you can in a day

 

10. Take leadership positions and see what they make of you !

 

11. Develop something like uniform, style, signature things (perfume, colour, smell, favorite flower and etc, make it yours !!!!

 

12. Reflect on your current self

• How you see yourself
• how you think others see you
• things that shaped who you are
• everything around you that influences you
• who youre not and who you dont want to become
• who you were in the past and who you want to be

 

 

 

 

 Honestly I tried to do some of these already wether conciously or unconciously but i still look forward to get to know myself more ! Some of these suprised me but im definitely more open to try different lifes now. Im prepared this wont take a week or month to develop but its still nice to get ahead of pepole who will never even try to look for answers. 

 Maybe ill even try to unravel some of these topics in future posts too.. hmmm ....... 

 

Hope you enjoyed and take care ! (っ╹ᆺ╹)っ 💗