late happy birthday to ...me?

 Hello.. hiiii ! welcome !

*late* Happy birthday to me ! 

 

I shouldve make that post a few days ago by now, since its already been 15 days from my birthday but yeah.. one year closer to death ^_^ yayyyy........    

I spent my actual birthday, july 3rd, on a last day of the trip in bali :D Im really grateful I had an oppportunity to spend it on such vacation like that but nevertheless it was a tough day for me and id rather to spend it alone or with my beloved.. The day started by waking up early, getting my makeup done and everything becuse we had to move hotels on that day...... just to cry durning breakfast becouse I already was at my breaking point. My parents were mad as fuck too becouse i made them look bad in front of other guests. Great. I hate pepole pointing out its my birthday, especially around strangers and when I thought im gonna tough it out - the staff came to sing a birthday song and give me a cake and they even took a picture when I had tears in mye eyes and everything . . . I hate being preceived so much bro

I eventually ended up redoing my makeup and trying not to think about what day it is. Later in the day my mum told me the other guy from our trip also had his birthday today so yay first time meeting someone with same date xD ehhh... I honestly dont know how I feel about being older now, its not like something changed but i feel like it shouldve? Just another year developing my frontal lobe xd I dont think my family will organise my birthday this year too so it just feels weird. I also didnt organise my brithday for friends in years now probably, I kinda wish i had pepole to invite to my birthday. I mean I do, but its complicated.. I dont know how its gonna be next year and im already anxious :'3

A lot of pepole send me wholseome wishes (despite that i forgot half of my friends birthdays) but its probably only becouse i posted it on my story but i still appreciate it c':  My boyfriend actually has his birthday 2 days after me so we both celebrated it being separate and on vacay lol We are going on a birthday date soon so yay ! It makes me happy. He's spoiling me so much <3

I dont know how I feel abot my age being this serious now and posting this here since its kind of vunerable but theres like 2 pepole seeing any of these posts at best, so it doesnt matter probably

 

 
My unrealistic dream is to be an anime character everyone relates to, wishes they were real, getting made shrines of and even but a cake to celebrate their birthday . . . omg like Marin adoring Shizuku-tan lol 

 

OK! Thats it for today. I dont think I want to talk about it anymore.

Have a nice day and happy birthday to everyone who shares my birthday ^_^

 

 

⋆⁺₊⋆ monthly playlist - july ⋆⁺₊⋆

 

hi ..helllo ! welcome back ! (＾• ω •＾)

Im back from my vacation hiatus, but ill talk on that later ^_^ It was a fun trip, ive documented a lot of it so ill probably share it here soon, i was thinking of uploading them to flickr becouse theres a lot so.. ill think about it :p

For now.. enjoy my july playlist that i forgot to make until a week ago lol 

 

 

ps. Maybe Ill make a shopping haul from my vacayyy hmmm... il think about it 

 

 

 

Things to do to get yo know yourself better . . .

 hii.. welcome ! ⊂(´• ω •`⊂)

This is a tiktok Ive written down my diary, becouse i wanted to remember to do this in my free time but I thought its a nice way for pepole to get to know themselves better and I wanted to share it here (^_^) I unfortunetly dont remember the account who posted this before but ill edit it in if i ever stumble upon it again !

   

 
 

  

1. Do a milion online tests, not typology but for example . . .

•  my political orientation
• whats my political party
• whats my type of feminism
• for fun you can do what type of character from ur favorite show are you
• etc

 

 2. Fuck around and find out 

• what you like, what you like to do
• how are you in day to day life
• try veganism, vegetarianism, find out what fits you
• try being a sports person, a writer, extravert, introvert..
• cold showers, warm showers, travel, stay home, be bored, busy, etc
• date everyone
• smoke, or dont, drink, or dont
• spend money or dont
• take care of yourself or dont 
• try different styles, experiment !!!

 

3. Read a lot of books, watch movies, analise your 'literally me' characters and DONT confuse them with 'who I wanna be' characters;

• have idols, pepole you look up to
• have pepole that you like or enjoy being around, whats it that you like about them?
• be a little more like pepole or chracters you look up to everyday

 

4. Do ikigai (finding life passion)

 

 

 

 

5. Keep a diary or a book of reflection, have somewhere to write your thoughts

• let other pepole feedback you
• be mature
• openly take critique
• dont take everything personally 
• ask yourself uncomfy questions and SEEK DISCOMFORT !

 

6. Travel, move around a lot

• move your body!!!
• move friend circles
• have multiple friend circles
• dont have friends
• try befriending everyone kinda
• try different sports even if you dont like them at first

 

7. Write down yur dream self !

• the way you want to interact with pepole 
• way you wanna be
• the confidence you want to have
• and develop the steps to get there !

 

8. Write down the list that your dream partner should have

•  must haves
• nice to haves
• dont likes
• red flags

 

9. Regulary engage in challenges that test your limits and abilities

• how many drawings can i make a day?
• wek of reading or how many books can i read in a week
• watch 100 movies in a year
• workout daily for two weeks
• do 60 days of hard studying
• try to learn as much language as you can in a day

 

10. Take leadership positions and see what they make of you !

 

11. Develop something like uniform, style, signature things (perfume, colour, smell, favorite flower and etc, make it yours !!!!

 

12. Reflect on your current self

• How you see yourself
• how you think others see you
• things that shaped who you are
• everything around you that influences you
• who youre not and who you dont want to become
• who you were in the past and who you want to be

 

 

 

 

 Honestly I tried to do some of these already wether conciously or unconciously but i still look forward to get to know myself more ! Some of these suprised me but im definitely more open to try different lifes now. Im prepared this wont take a week or month to develop but its still nice to get ahead of pepole who will never even try to look for answers. 

 Maybe ill even try to unravel some of these topics in future posts too.. hmmm ....... 

 

Hope you enjoyed and take care ! (っ╹ᆺ╹)っ 💗

 

this blog is now one month old !!!! yay !

 

 

 hello, welcome ! (^_^)

this blog is now officially one month old ! yay!!!!

 i honestly thought its been so much longer but i guess its been a month ? o.o well.. i have a few more ideas on more posts, though i have a little difficult time living now im gonna be ok eventually and i hope ill spread my horizons more! maybe ill get more motivation to write longer posts :D

 

 

 

 

rotting away

I havent realised its been a week since i last uploaded.. everything is so dull.. i feel numb... hopefully my holiday trip will make me a little more lively.. I feel like its yet again another year of falling into summer depression, staying home the whole summer, wasting my youth away.

I have no idea whats going on with me lately. Im here, but im not here.. Its like my brain turns on only when im outside my house, i feel so so so indifferent. I sleep right after i get back home, rot, daydream, envy pepole online, sometimes shower, crawl into my bed, go to sleep at crack of dawn, wake up, wash my face, makeup go out if i have to, go back and repeat . . .  I spent last few days just straight up rotting lol. Skipped school, again.. i went  to classes once in the last 2 months xd at least I started to get a hang of my room and its clean again but it lowkey is making me anxious,it takes a lot for me to get used to changes T_T  I tried to make a chabudai for my nail equipment and magazines with my boyfriend but it lowkey was ass, it was too high and didnt fit my room at all so we just put it back and my mums probably going to refund it today.. 

Other than that, i just can tell im already tanned, i hate my skin so much, it doesnt matter how much i stay home and hope to at least stay pale, I go out once and look brown !!!!! bruh i just feel like such a chud, i cant help but to feel jealous of girls who get money from their parents and go out spending or can book nail or lashes appointments.. i just want to be pretty, how do pepole get sm money to spoil themselfes.. I feel so useless scrolling my life away

 whatever

 

 

byebye journal + sketches

  

 hey, hello! ( ᵔ ⩊ ᵔ )

 I'm finishing my journal I started it back at the beginning of April, I believe? ┐(￣ヘ￣)┌ I usually dont fully fill my notebooks, and I keep my thoughts scattered all over my space, whether it's about physical mess or just having a shit ton of papers notes and sticky notes with my thoughts, previously i just tried my best to keep it all in my calendar but i think having two separate spaces to organize and reflect works for me best ^^

Honestly I feel better not having to keep it all aesthetic and neatly organised. A thing that helped me a lot too, is putting a letter envelope of some sort on the back of my notebook and just in case i do have any notes or papers or whatever i didnt want to bin but dont necessearily need for anything - i just get to shove it down there and forget about it without crippling anxiety of losing something important. (ᵔ.ᵔ)

Well, yeah, its been fun having it around. Ill probably grab another one soon and continue listing down my messy thoughts somewhere else. Im glad i didnt turn it into a sketchbook kind of thing and sticked with my journal-diary formula. Maybe ill put some more art into it in my next journal? Enjoy the little scribbles i glued on my pages throughout the few weeks i actually used it. ヽ(￣ω￣(。。 )ゝ

  

 

i love horses

 

 

freehanding is fun

im not a big fan of this one to be honest

  

 

ps. A little update to my ... sad rant i guess ... my old friend sent me a video saying she misses sitting with me in class. Dear god...... KILL ME NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This is so embarrassing. Why did i tell her i had a dream about her even? UGHHHHHH I SHOULD'VE SHUT MY DAMN MOUTH. wish me luck, now i have to reply back to her ughhhhhh....... Its not like i dont want tooo.. itssss....... ccooooommplicateeddd.....  T^T eh

 

 

 

Thanks for reading, take care !  ⸜( ´ ꒳ ` )⸝

 

 

cleaning tips and personal advice coming from menhera growing up in hoaders house ┐(￣ヮ￣)┌

 

hellooo! welcome!!! (─‿‿─) 

 

Since recently i really got into deep-cleaning my room and decided to give it a slight makeover, my aesthetics changed too so i wanted to share some tips^^ Ive been improving my cleaning routine over a few months now so i have some expirience now! A few years ago i really struggled with keeping my room tidy especially after growing up in a surrounding that encouraged hoarding, so now being on the other side i can really tell how big of a difference a clear space makes.

Im not a minimalist but suprisingly im starting to turn from maximalist more and more since it makes me anxious being in such cluttered room and maintaining it. I know its hard to switch your habits and stop sabotaging yourself but in the long run - trust me, its really worth it and most important, ITS POSSIBLE ! As someone who struggles with mental health as well taking small steps into being able to manage your space means a lot. Dont give up just yet ! 

 

 

My favorite tips and advice when it comes to (deep) cleaning your room!

  

1. it doesnt have to be perfect nor you dont always have to ddep clean, surface cleaning is ok too! - its best to start with trash, cups and dirty clothes (^_^)
   
   
2. get yourself a treat after you finish, its a nice way to look forward to finishing up the area you started cleaning
   
   
3. split your room into small groups you can handle - shelves, desk cabinets, closet, drawers, nightstand, etc.. id usually split it into furniture that contains things inside and flat surfaces
   
   
4.  spread it out in time - there are days im really motivated on and am inspired to have a cute princess den NYEEOOOWW but trust me, you WILL get overwhelmed with the amount of stuff to clean after you dump them out.. this is a system that works for me over a month or two..
   
   posters(printing more over a few months) --> closet drawers --> bookshelves --> desk --> desk drawers --> warderobe --> bed --> decor --> repeat !
   
   i do it over and over ! sometimes i skip some things, sometimes i repeat the same step but i like it that way and over a few months i can go through my stuff again and decide to throw stuff i was undecided on before and free up some more space
    
5. face the reality - throw or give away the things you know you wont use and tehyre not sentimental, if you really stick to it, keep it organised with other small or weird items that dont have their space
    
6. put things inside of other things, for example my lps collection - i have a huge box i organised into smaller plastic bags and seperate generations, accesories and each having their own place !
    
7. keep stickers with stickers - pens with pens - old notebooks with other notebooks and markers with markers, that way you know where to look for things and theyre not so scattered around
    
8. make it accesible, if you have trouble putting things away becouse theres something on your way on the bookshelf move it ! you hve to open and move things in your drawers to grab your sticky notes? put them on the desk or somewhere closer - dont bury stuff you often look for deep down in ur room 
    
9. have a inspo picture on your side! i often have a tab with my dream or goal room look on my pc and whenever i lose my motivation i glance at it to keep going ! 
   
   i also advice to start cleaning in the time of the day you feel more productive, i usually clean on evenings becouse i cant get myself to do it in the morning or durning the day so its better when i actually do it when i like to and i like to take a shower after i finish so everything feels fresh!
    
10. if there are things you carry in your purse daily, keep it there and dont move it across your room and such becouse youll look for it later - have a destinated spot for your most important items like keys, wallet or earphones to grab when youre going out and not get lost
    
    
11. Dont feel bad about giving your things away or throwing them out - remember, YOU DESERVE A CLEAN SPACE ! and keeping receipts or random items just becouse someone gave it to you doesnt mean you have to drag it along with your whole life! if its really important, put it into a scratchbook or journal instead of hoarding them
    
    
12. Throw your old notebooks that you wont study from, primary school or subjects that dont matter to you anymore. if you have some youd like to keep, i like to put them in a hig big box and set them up on botttom of my bookshelves so they dont mess with my visuals nor take up much space - they also keep balance so my bookshelf wont flip lol i also keep my finished notebooks and ones i currently use or have a lot of free space still seperate - usually near my desk so i can use them for notes and not waste!
    
    
13. Tke care of your bed area, change your sheets regulary - dont be ashamed if its not weekly or monthly, do it as often as you can handle or depending on the season! After all its lace you spend your nights in.
    
    
14. remember to take breaks and its okay if you finish your ceaning at 75% for a few days and get back to it later, the most important is to not abandon it completely and not give up on yourself, you can do it!
    
    
15. If you like to keep it really aesthetic, doesnt have to be pink necesseraliy, i like to pink a few colours and whenever i buy something or whatever i look for something that would fit my cute pink den! i try my best to avoid neons, saturated colours and stick to my colour palette:
    
    • 60% white, light grey, pearl
    • 30% (baby) pink
    • 10% black, silver, light wood 

 

  

 

Here are some of my favorite pictures i keep as an inspiration for my room! 

 

 

 

 

  

  

 

in the past i also liked to watch these videos!

 

   

 

 

 

 

 

 

Please remember its not possible to clean your whole room in one day or make a complete makeover within a few days, sometimes it can take weeks, months or in case like mine - years! Collecting good takes time and money, so its okay if it takes a while, after all you want to build a safe space not filled with cheap slop and litter^^

Dont push yourself too hard and set unreachable goals for your room! Especiall if you struggled with taking care of it before. Set routines and make small steps in your own pace :3 !

 

Take care and have a great day, thanks for reading! <3  

 

 

 

tumblr, january 11th

 tumblr rant i wanted to repost as its accurate to my previous post

 

why is making friends as an autistic person so difficult?

 

i had many attempts to connect with my schoolmates and actually reach out to pepole like i said i will. . .and none of it worked out i feel like my old friends im not in contanct with as much as i used to dont see me as the person i am but still think of me as a version who no longer exists

socialising overwhelms me and i get exhausted easily so i tend to avoid interaction at all, when i eventualy get invited somewhere i remember how bad i feel afterwards or how these pepole make me feel left out. i dont mind being a lone, matter of fact i like it since its a relief not having to worry about other pepoles feelings when theres no one around.but i still often get this thought and pain deep down lookign through my peers stories or posts where they go out or hangout in groups, loneliness and feeling like im not fun enough to participate, i dont understand jokes, pepole acting foolish or social cues and i tend to feel invisible. even when im talking to someone 1:1 i just feel like i have to put a performance for them to like me or like im talking through a glass wall and suddenly i mess all the words and stutter

its hard for me to develop and maintain the friendships i want to have with others and for them to be healthy and fulfilling and supportive when im distant, i wish low maintenance friends were real i wish i was someone elses best friend too, even if it was just one girl friend but i just feel like im surrounded by everyone already having their group, their favorite friend, best friend and always having a pair i feel lonely even if i am with pepole

that one time in december i think i tried to maybe start a friendship with first years and thinking it might actually work just to start feeling a barier with them once we actually met outside school and there was this gap, i dont know, they talking about pepole they know between themselves and me not being included or leaving early becouse they already had a other friendgroup meeting planned and this was just an addition to their day while i prepared for this meeting for days . . . then seeing posts where they had much more fun with others and then we never went anywhere together anywhere haha

i sometimes crave the quiet and peace of being by myself but then other times i ache for connection and bond, not fake or forced but authentic and safe, somewhere i dont have to perform to have fun,the worst is that no matter how many series or anime revolving around friendship or even pepole like me struggling it never actually helps me make friends and i just stay on my own either way

i just feel invisible no matter how hard i try

 

 

 

sad little no friends rant sob story (vent?)

hii, welcome!

 

I feel a little bad for skipping school so much... since my internship ended i have went only twice, for my exam and courses and i tried my best for none of my classmates to notice me.. I know im avoiding my classmates on purpose but theres honestly a lot of conflicting feelings i have towards them. I think i usually come off as friendly and nice to others but in reality i dont do very well interacting with pepole, especially long term. Thats why i consider my relationship with other classmates a complicated thing.. but its probably one sided since i really ehm like to overcomplicate things and overthink them and they probably just think im a normal girl. Honestly i really miss having someone to look after me in class though.

My primary school best friend... i really regret we split and grown apat so much. We have contact now, i guess? we made up? but i think its still awkward between us - mostly just greeting in hallways and sometimes asking if our common teahcer is avaliable on some day. We sent each other tiktoks that we miss each other from time to time but nothing beyond that ever really happended...... i do have dreams of her from time to time, coming to haunt me making me feel like im mourining for someone who never died

 I used to have a best friend in first grade of high school too but in second year we also.. differed. I sometimes look around my class and all i can see are friend groups im sometimes included as but i never really belong to them, never get added to their group chats, like im never quite enough, neither . I have one or two pepole id call.. friends i guess but its complicated... one of them has other, hmmm.. friends i think she would consider higher priority than me. Like, im on her third place or so. The other one makes me confused becouse i cant really read her thoughts, i tried to reach out, deepen the friendship but.. i guess it never worked out and we talk sometimes, but shes more extroverted and naturally surrounded with pepole, though i know that ex friend i mentioned was talking stuff behind her back so its not all sunshines and rainbows.. I like being alone, i really do. I can focus better on lectures, i dont have to constantly rely on other pepoles opinion and just cnstantly talk(I HATE TALKING NONSTOP ABOUT NOTHING!!!!!!!)(Its not even a fun talk just euughghhh im soooooooo bored, like syfm....) but it gets really lonely sometimes and all i can think about when im drawing by myself in class is my boyfriend. I do have pepole in class i talk to, but they have their best buddy already.

Its like im trying to push myself into their bubble and i just rather be on my own than psh myself in someones space. I often think that college will be better, and i still have some hope since durning my internship i met some cool pepole that actually interacted with me without making me feel invisible... in school i always sit on the other side of pc row, in class mostly by myself unless theres no other seats, no one comes up to me to chat like they do with others and joining groups of pepole just to get ignored anyway makes me feel worse than being by myself. Less of a emmberassing public humiliation ritual, i rather that than just making a fake crowd.I remember when i struggled with a lot of things in my second year and pepole i laer talked to, noticed, bt they just chose to ignore it. They conffessed to me, that they saw i was upset but i guess no one really cared enough to ask if i was ok. Yeah its not like i always try to make everyone feel included and try to chat to everyone who seem alone but ok.

I need to accept that the rule of treating pepole how you want to be treated is no longer applying lol. Maybe just pepole in highschool are dicks.

I know its normal and honestly, who cares? Most of these pepole are going downfall and i dont need any friends, im good on my own, but sometimes just seeing how pepole DONT get ignored in large groups of pepole makes me a little insecure. I miss faving a best friend in class. Sure, i have a boyfriend and we meet durning breaks but sitting by myself durning lectures feels like a humiliation ritual sometimes. I know its the end of the school year too, but maybe i just had to get it out.. after tasting what office looks like.. true, maybe i would never hada chance to talk to these pepole and i dont like everyone i met there but compared to school where i come to sit around - get overstimulated and tired just to be ignored by everyone either way? bruh.. Looking at media such as look back, hyouka, silent voice or k-on, constantly watching anime about friendships and stuff,, sometimes i think i should just giive up with my hope for making friends becouse if i really were to make friends here, i probably wouldve by now, no? Im not going to get invited to your stupid birthday party anyway. Even when you invited the whole class. Yeah we're on the same bus, everyone, have fun at the place, im just gonna head to my place. Its not like i got invited. Im not going to have fun anyway, i dont like them anyway,

khem- yeah 

I miss my old friends, i miss my online friends who are all grown up now. If im gonna be on my own either way i rather just stay at home and not bother, its for the best.  All i can do is just supress this feeling or keep looking for pepole and community that doesnt exist

 

 

 

 

⋆⁺₊⋆ monthly playlist - june ⋆⁺₊⋆

 

 Hello! welcome!! ( ‘^ ω ^ `)

I passed my first final!!! 30/40 points (≧ω≦)人(≧ω≦) One more is awaiting,, hopefully illl nail it since my past practice-tests were almost 100% so im hoping it will turn out just fine .

Sorry for not posting recently, theres a lot on my mind now, but ill post some more soon! Its hard to be consistand without office enviroment honestly T^T It helped me so much,, but any nice things have happended too so its not all bad things. Soon im going out of the country for holidays too, so.. i have things to look forward to (＃￣ω￣)

VOLUME WARNING

facts about me that dont match my appearance

 

        hellooo! welcome!!! ⸜( ´ ꒳ ` )⸝  

 

 

 

. . . This is a little simpler format since my finals are upcoming i didnt really feel like making anything big... theyre in like 2 days and i feel like i dont know ANYTHING, and also.. im so so so so so scared of going back to school i literally didnt go today and am NOT going tommorow, neither the rest of the week after my final but still, the thought of it sends me into spiral . . . (*꒦ິ꒳꒦ີ)  

 

1. im really introverted and struggle to navigate through conversations, i tend to avoid pepole just becouse i dont feel like interacting atm and the only person i keep in contact with is my boyfriend ( ; ω ; )

2. a lot of pepole tend to describe me as sweet and wholesome but the true is i end to be really harsh and i myself think i tend to be pretty sorrow and spoiled at times 

3. i wanted to be a taxidermist a few years ago but living where i live its hard to find any animal remains and i dont have the equipment to take care of them 

4. i used to hate pink and being feminine for a little while  (￣□￣」)

5. im not really that affectionate, i have hard time saying stuff out loud or constant physical touch i think i just have my own way of showing my feelings, its less obvious and sometimes feels like im not doing enough 

6. im scared of public transport if its any further than my hometown and untill i made it to highschool i didnt know how my local buses worked too ... trains are horrifying, i either have to travel with someone or there always must be someone to put me in a train and i cant imagine having to switch trains, i must have a direct ride if im going alone ｡ﾟ(｡ﾉωヽ｡)ﾟ｡

7. i love and i used to love watching crimial cases on yt since i was little, the one i often think about till this day is Brianna Ghey story

8. i love irish folk creatures, i wish i knew more about them and i kinda wish i had irish accent 

9. my dream is to get tons of dermal piercings when ill get the money for it (⁄ ⁄•⁄ω⁄•⁄ ⁄)

10. i dont like to eat sweet meals, they look pretty but i get fed up with them really fast and my stomach hurts after eating sweet, so i can only eat it as a treat, i prefer spicy and salty food ( ´ ▽ ` ).｡ｏ♡

      

take care!!! wish me luck pls ╮(￣ω￣;)╭

 

 

Im going to miss my office desk

Since its my last day at my internship I thought it would be nice to kinda reflect on my time here and stuff, maybe say what suprised me and why id prefer working here than attending my hs T_T 

First of all.. aI must say im pretty upset its over already (੭ ;´ ⌂ `;)੭♡  I got a chance to meet some awesome people and get used to how working as a graphic designer would look like, im gonna miss the girls I share my office room with <3 :< While I know ill probably be back here in some time for another internship but its still sad to leave :'3 I really enjoyed my time here.. also my mum made a tiramisu cake with a little pistachios on top for my coworkers since its my last day, they said it was really good so im glad! if my mum is ever reading this, thanks for making it for me, I really appreciate it<3

Overall im pretty happy with projects I made while working here, my teammates said so too xD Im not really sure If I want to share them here, but maybe ill post them sometime.. also, the post is just all my experience and might be a little sugarcoated or biased, since I been here for only a month and my opinion is fresh and it WILL change over time, maybe ill add a follow-up post in the future (﹡֦ơ ﻌ ơ֦﹡)

 

how different is majoring in graphic design in high school and actually working as one?

...and other differences between being a student and an office employee ૮₍ ˶• ˔ ต ₎ა

 What are we told to do at school vs what you actually do at work as a graphic designer . . .

irst thing I wanted to mention is that at school we usually do work connected to the exams (usually just copying from a simplified layout and piecing files together, etc) we must pass in order to get the title and in my work I got to do actual job XD I actually designed something and not only followed a layout handed to me on a shitty print... I made a few mockups, department plates for my coworkers, cards to send in packages, sakura themed matcha designs, event stamps, card to collect stamps and designs for event stands (^_^) so I definitely gained some experience.. 

 

My school is good to get to know the adobe programs or how printshops work but if you want to make pretty designs you definitely need to either spend some time after school to do your projects or in internships and such.. otherwise its hard to learn how to make appealing projects because the teachers mostly pay attention to the information than the aesthetics of what you make durning classes(╥ ω ╥)

As an autistic with strong sense of justice getting a lower grade for prettier project just because I put a wrong model of a commercial printer on my presentation than my classmate who just plastered shit all over not even including any images and called it a day is not for the weak.

 Breaks and routines

About breaks.. yeah, there's so loud ringging but also you can get a break anytime, you're the only person who cares and no one questions what time you decide to eat lunch lol, you can just get up and grab your meal from the fridge or microwave it, no one minds snacking durning work and the only thing limiting you and your time management choices are your deadlines and how much work you need to get done :P 

My usual day consists of settling in my desk, making a frappe in the kitchen with the other girls, locking in and getting my projects done by what needs to get don't the quickest, after I finish one I take a break to play tomodachi, text my boyfriend, eat something or draw.. then I lock in to complete whatever left on my list and when I get everything done or only the things I can finish another day or need feedback are left I start doing my own stuff, like drawing or playing games, blogging.. until someone gets back to me with feedback about it or until someone gives me another task to complete, other than that I don't really ask for work or really mention im bored x3

 Timetable, schedule, planning...

Another thing I really appreciate as an autistic is the (nonexistent) timetable. I love routies, yes, it makes me forget how much time I've actually spent here or what I did on a specific day but I like to write everything down anyway so that's not big of a issue, and they help me cope. Our nonexistent timetable is something wonderful, basically, the one rule is that you need to work an x amount of hours in the week and that's it. I usually am here from 8-4 since I feel like working 9 to 5 feels a little late but I know girls who come here at 6am and leave early. My coworkers sometimes stay overtime on some days to claim their hours and leave early on other days and my friend just told me you could possibly work for like 3 days overtime and then have the rest of the week free.. :o 

Basically, unlike at school, you have the control over your schedule and you're the one managing your time(^_^)  In school, at least in my area I really dislike that every day plan is different and I can start at 7am one day and next its 1pm and often half of the subjects we have to attend are useless.. im not even gonna mention paying for books and then not opening them once durning the school year bro ... Besides, it's like in Severance - you come do your work when you're here, and when you're off work, you're OFF. You do you, its just about reaching the weekly amount of hours and unlike school where you still must study, review and all... and if you're like me you have to adjust your after school classes, courses, social life, playing instruments, everything paired with schoolwork..

 What's it like to have your own space? ( ' • ω • `)

Probably one of my favorite aspects while I was here was getting my own space. This is such a game changer compared to how im used to change the classroom every 45mins TuT You can decorate it too! Though I didnt really see many people doing it, but I don't mind being "childish" because I put an acrylic stand and an lps under my monitor xD Im not. a huge fan of making your cube look like your bedroom, but I find putting some decor here and there nice, as long as you're not doing too much so its distracting you or something :P Other than that id find it emberassing packing everything back if id leave the company lol

Here's a glimpse of what my (clean) desk looked like!
(Don't mind the amount of mugs)

 Social interactions, classmates and coworkers - is it really that different?

Social interactions! I have met some awesome people here(^_^) Everyone is super friendly and at first I had no idea how to talk to people, especially when I always got taught to be respectful and in the office I had to talk to everyone as if we were friends XD Over time I got used to calling others by their first name and not using sir or ma'am, the unwritten rule I follow is talking casual, unless someone is dressed in a suit, then I have to be professional and it usually works. Everyone is pretty chill here so there's no people wanting special titles or overthinking your actions - if theres a clear misunderstanding or a stressful situation you're probably going to talk about it next day and explain it so there's no weird atmosphere unlike the good ol' weird high school drama because someone is looking at you weird and gossip..... 

I really like how most of my interactions durning the day consist of talking to just under 20 pepole and its usually only greeting each other or they usually come with a task or something specific so unless someone comes just to chat which happens rarely and mostly when they're waiting for someone else to finish a phone call (and I never have to do any phone calls or talk to the repsss eeee >:333) or its not a morning social tea before work ... its only a group of people compared to how many interactions with people you have in hs, durning breaks, teachers, friends, small talk, everything ??? In school its so much more draining.. connecting with classmates and like, not being awkward, understanding all the references, them often leaving you out, being ignored, often having to argue with the teacher for grade especially the subjects that are your major subjects bruh T_T idk I can't deal with ts after what I had here T_T I earn for community..

 Weird things I wanted to mention ... and the negatives ( `−ㅿ−´)

There's also a social room! This is probably the most ridiculous thing to mention, but yeah you have a kitchen. . . and Im really excited about it becouse at my hs there's no such thing, yeah, you can ask your teacher or someone to boil water for you but its rather a unique request to make.. we don't have access to a microwave, kettle or fridge to store our lunch :P There are only 2 vending machines which one makes you coffee and the other you can buy unhealthy snacks at - and a thing I must mention is that i went down to a vending machine we have here in the office and the prices for same products as in our school are twice cheaper. -_-

The other thing is the office ambience, compared to school, its completely different. I don't know if there are even people paying attention to such things but yeah xD As someone with sound sensitivity I love it here, maybe not all the time, but mostly its quiet and there's no ringing for breaks and you're mostly working on your tasks. Even in shared spaces its mostly quiet, obviously you can hear or see some people talking and running around, talking on the phone in different rooms in the departments but its spread through few rooms so you can just shut your door and let others know you're locked in today or wear earplugs. 

Obviously, there's also a few downsides to working here, like barely getting any steps in, so you're sitting a lot and then after you get home you're often tired and no energy for training.. last minute project you get handed like 30mins before deadline EHM... unrealistic demands from higher-ups ... or really shitty transportation, basically if you don't have a license or someone to pick you up you're kinda fucked-ehmmmm... its not all butterflies and rainbows but honestly id rather go through this

 Conclusions ( ' • ω • `)

While yes, school is fun, but honestly id rather be employed, get that bag, experience and have stable routine than the shi my school is making me go through sometimes . . it was super fun and I hope ill get to come back soon :3

Also, from the less important things, here are my and my boyfriends mii I pampered everyday after the morning social room meetings, before locking in to finish my projects lol - - - >

I think that's about it... I really needed to get it out woah (╥ ω ╥) I just said goodbye to one of my favorite coworkers..՞߹ - ߹՞ Is it weird i got so attached? Im going to miss it... I hope you enjoyed reading, I probably forgot some points or talked nonsense in some points but this blog doesn't have to be perfect lol, if you have any questions lmk! (ALSO I JUST MET MY BOSS SHES SO NICE SHE SAID I COULD WORK HERE DURNING THE SUMMER AND MY NEXT INTERSHIP WILL BE ACCEPTED YAY))

Ill better get going, I've been typing this for a pretty long time now...

i hope you have a great day and take care ( ᵒ ૩ᵕ )♡*